HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrella

A nation holds its breath

At 11:42 yesterday morning, during a light drizzle, a member of the Royal Family held an umbrella.

It was opened. It was held. Some hours later, it was closed.

The umbrella has since been placed on a velvet cushion, under a television light, where Lady Penelope Fawning has been standing beside it, live, since four o'clock this morning.

"Historic. I have covered every royal wave since 1981, and I have never seen a handle gripped with such quiet authority. The canopy was ten out of ten. It is always ten out of ten." — Lady Penelope Fawning

Why this matters

• The umbrella was black, a colour of great seriousness.
• It kept the rain off. Penelope calls this "service".
• At no point did it turn inside out, which experts call "the monarchy working".

Is this really news?

Other channels have asked whether a royal holding an umbrella deserves wall-to-wall coverage. BB News would point out that a real British news channel this week ran a full article on a royal riding in a minibus, and another reporting that its own viewers overwhelmingly approve of the King.

We did not want to be left behind.

BB News's royal countdown clock now counts down to the umbrella's next outing. No date has been announced. The clock is going anyway.

Long may they wave.